Because I mistrust my head & hands, because I know salt
tinctures my songs, I tried hard not to touch you
even as I pulled you into my arms. Seasons sprouted
& went to seed as we circled the dance with silver cat bells
tied to our feet. Now, kissing you, I am the archheir of second
Because I know twelve ways to be wrong
& two to be good, I was wounded by the final question in the cave,
left side of the spirit level’s quiver. I didn’t want to hug you
into a cross, but I’m here to be measured down to each numbered
A trembling runs through what pulls us to the blood knot.
We hold hands & laugh in the East Village as midnight autumn
shakes the smoke of the Chicago B.L.U.E.S. club from our clothes,
& you say I make you happy & sad. For years I stopped my hands
in midair, knowing fire at the root stem of yes.
I say your name, & another dies in my mouth because I know how
to plead till a breeze erases the devil’s footprints,
because I crave something to sing the blues about. Look,
I only want to hold you this way: a bundle of wild orchids
broken at the wet seam of memory & manna."
1. Stop pursuing an emotionally unavailable person. Do you know how much energy we waste when we keep throwing ourselves after people who communicate in one way or another that they don’t have anything to give to us? Emotionally unavailable people come in many forms. Sometimes they’re lovers. Sometimes they’re parents. Sometimes they’re mentors. Sometimes they’re friends. They express their unavailability in varying ways. Sometimes you can only get their attention when you’re in crisis. Sometimes you can’t ever seem to get their attention. Sometimes they can’t share your joy with you. Sometimes they undermine you. And yet you keep going back for more, because you’re sure that if you just love them in whatever way it seems they want to be loved, they’ll open up to you.
Well, listen up. They won’t. So knock it off.
See what it’s like to just stop putting yourself out there to someone who hasn’t appreciated it or reciprocated. See what it’s like to decline an invitation to open yourself up into an energetic black hole. Don’t reach out. Don’t pursue. Let them go. And instead spend your time focused on the people who are already present for you, who already show up."