kellybits

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1. Stop pursuing an emotionally unavailable person. Do you know how much energy we waste when we keep throwing ourselves after people who communicate in one way or another that they don’t have anything to give to us? Emotionally unavailable people come in many forms. Sometimes they’re lovers. Sometimes they’re parents. Sometimes they’re mentors. Sometimes they’re friends. They express their unavailability in varying ways. Sometimes you can only get their attention when you’re in crisis. Sometimes you can’t ever seem to get their attention. Sometimes they can’t share your joy with you. Sometimes they undermine you. And yet you keep going back for more, because you’re sure that if you just love them in whatever way it seems they want to be loved, they’ll open up to you.

Well, listen up. They won’t. So knock it off.

See what it’s like to just stop putting yourself out there to someone who hasn’t appreciated it or reciprocated. See what it’s like to decline an invitation to open yourself up into an energetic black hole. Don’t reach out. Don’t pursue. Let them go. And instead spend your time focused on the people who are already present for you, who already show up.

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"That’s what love is, I think. Finding someone who looks at you when you’re at your craziest and says “Fuck it, I’m in."